Things That Made Me Less Cranky: March 2024 Edition

Not to be dramatic, but being alive is a major plus

Welcome to my monthly list of recommendations. It is made up of completely random things/events/moments that made me less of a raging, bitter, hag despite the dumpster fire that is our world. It also includes food-centric suggestions. Enjoy!

View of hospital room number 1

Friends,

This is a very abbreviated version of my usual monthly round-up but I wanted to let you know what’s been going on in my life. On March 21st, I was admitted to the hospital with pancreatitis, brought on by those damn gallstones. Before they could perform gallbladder surgery, my pancreas had to chill. I was in the hospital for several days until my pancreas was healthy enough for the surgery.

My gallbladder surgery was on the 25th and, in many ways, was a success. It’s one of the most straightforward operations out there. I was released to go home that day, which is also pretty standard procedure.

Unfortunately for me, I have the trachea of a baby bird. According to the doctors, my intubation was pretty challenging, but it’s so normal to have a sore throat post-surgery that no one thought much of it when I went home. My throat didn’t improve though, it got substantially worse. By Friday morning, it was so swollen, I couldn’t even pass water and unimaginable pain was radiating up to my right ear.

Back to the ER I went, where doctors figured out that my intubation had probably poked a hole or a scratch in my esophagus. [Note: Initially, I thought it was my trachea but the official diagnosis was a perforation in my esophagus. This is only mildly better, in the sense that a perforated trachea leads to worse health outcomes than a perforated esophagus but both are MAJOR TRAUMA NO-NOs.] NOT GREAT. That made liquids and food go into places it shouldn’t. I was admitted again, this time to the ICU, which I only throw in there because it sounds super glamorous. It really isn’t that scary but because this has to do with my breathing, I need extra care. Antibiotics and steroids are doing the work that needs to get done. A feeding tube down my nose is providing nutrients. I’m no longer in pain. Everything seems to indicate I’ll be fine. All of this is to help my body heal that tiny scratch on its own in a safe, clean, internal environment.

It’s been a very, very difficult time for me but I’ve been so moved by my friends’ support. From bringing my stuff to the hospital, to visiting, to checking in with daily messages, to venmo gifts, to doordash gifts, to dumb memes, to simply saying “thinking of you”—it’s made me realize that if I’ve done one good thing in this life, it’s choosing friends and putting friendship as a priority as important as career, romance, personal development, all that jazz that makes you an adult. Love your friends. Make space for friends. They might be the ones that save you in the end. In my case, they were the only ones I could rely on. My family was too far away to help, though my mom is coming tomorrow morning. I cannot wait to see her and be taken care of by that kind of unconditional love. But there is so much unconditional love around you too. Keep your heart open for it.

So things might be a bit slow here. Or not? I’m prioritizing my healing, but nothing makes me feel more alive sometimes than writing.

Wishing you healing in whatever area of your life needs it.