How to Rent an Apartment as a Freelancer
Just one more process to fuel my political radicalization
There are two Very Essential Components of Adult Life that many people believe are impossible to get as a freelancer: health care and housing. I am here to tell you that you can, in fact, get both even in this hyper extremist capitalist hellscape we call home. The big “see note below” is that it will simply be more cumbersome, stressful and potentially costly than if you were to chain yourself to a full-time employer.
We all pick our poisons, folks.
I will leave the health care topic to the side for now because I can barely understand it. I might as well be spinning a healthcare globe with my eyes closed, and let my finger land on whatever shitty plan the New York State Health Plan Marketplace offers that is less than $600 a month.
When it comes to housing, I have a bit more of an edge because I just went through it in one of the worst rental housing markets in the country. It nearly destroyed me and there were many nights I cried into my pillow, whimpering “momma, can you hear me?” but I have a roof over my head, which is getting concerningly close to becoming a luxury item in this country.
As with most things regarding the freelance life, housing is just one more issue that makes it abundantly clear that when the U.S. government says it’s “pro-business”, what it really means is that it’s “pro-global-corporations-that-use-humans-as-bots-when-not-actively-replacing-them-with-bots.” It does not care one fucking bit about the small businesses, which is what all freelancers are. Most landlords act like our economy is stuck in some post WW-II boom, where a sole head of household (the one with the penis) swore unwavering loyalty to a company in exchange for endangered entities like pensions. This despite the fact that 36% of the US workforce has engaged in some freelance work and more are joining their ranks every day. My friends at Meta—that Big Daddy of Silicon Valley Tech Optimism—are shaking at their boots every month to see who gets cut, but landlords still act as if bringing home a paycheck from CryptoCurrencyBankVergingOnCollapse is a safer bet than any freelancer, even the ones that make six figures, even the ones that are booked solid for the next three years.
In other words, a pay stub is king.
And if you don’t have one? Welp, you get a landlord asking for things that don’t really make practical sense like:
Three months worth of paid invoices. (Do they really think I have a physical receipt booklet and a little stamp with PAID in big, fat block letters to prove it?)
1099 statements for all of 2022. (Hi, would you like me to scan or mail copies of the 30+ so 1099s I get and what should I do about those who never sent me one?)
Credit score. (This makes “sense” in as much as anything makes sense in this bullshit economy. We are talking about a made up number that NO ONE USED BEFORE 1989.)
How did I get around this? By being proactive and forwarding documents I thought would give them similar info but did not require me printing out the equivalent of a small forest. Instead, I sent them copies of:
Schedule C of my Federal Tax Return. This is where I compile all the amounts of the 1099s plus any additional income I may have received that did NOT get a 1099. It is about as official as you can get and few landlords will think you are conning both them AND the feds at the same time.
Three months worth of bank statements from my freelance bank account: Because I pay myself a monthly salary that I deposit into a personal checking account and ONLY use my freelance bank account for deposits and business expenses, it is very easy to see how much is coming in on any given month. I waited until the April statement hit to avoid showing my brutal January—in other words, my landlord got info on a lackluster February, a booming March and the bonanza that was April. I also added my freelance savings account so they understood that I always had access to some cash flow in the lean months.
Credit Score: I hate it, but the best way to position yourself for success is to make sure your credit score is decent. Mine was a few points shy from 700, that magical baseline in which interest rates fall and the economic overlords smile at you. But that was still only after I paid a massive chunk of credit card debt. Kind of amazing what one big payment can do to raise those numbers. It’s all a racket, there is zero logic to it, but we are all beholden to this horcrux of a thing. Might as well work your way up to an ok number.
And with that, I got approved for a lease! In a shared apartment, lmao, I’m not a Roy. There is no “living on my own in NYC” in any foreseeable future. But I am part of a legal contract which means I can stay here while my roommates go and move in with their partners, if they so please. I’m not budging.
While I wallowed in misery, waiting to hear back if I had been deemed worthy enough FOR A FREAKING ROOM, I received other tips to make my case. These included:
Emails from previous landlords vouching for you.
Emails from clients confirming long-term contracts and their payment.
Paying x months of rent upfront. It’s sketchy, playing into the most depraved landlords power trips and contributing to the inequitable competition in tight housing markets. But it’s an option.
Have you been in this situation before? What helped? What didn’t? Share any nuggets of wisdom in the comments.
Homework
Check your credit report at least once a year, not just your score. It’s a great way to uncover any mistakes or potential frauds/errors keeping your credit score low. You also want to be on as equal a playing field as you can with potential lenders. See what it is they see about your financial situation.
State of My Wallet
April Invoiced: $16,454.22
April Received: $11,879.22
May Invoiced: $2,862.03
May Received: $3,491.81
My big dream this summer is to spend the bulk of my days working on my essay collection and either wrapping up projects or only working on the day-to-day tasks of my regular clients. It will be my reward for the April-May horror show. I was supposed to get more in May but a total of three clients sent delayed payments, mostly due to behind-the-scenes bureaucratic issues. I also decided to change the way I invoice some of my regular clients. Before, I would wait until the end of the month and send an invoice including every project I worked on during that time. Now, I invoice on a per-project basis to keep my cash flow moving quickly. It’s a good, smarter change.
Progress Report
Pitches sent: 1 LOL
LOIs sent: 2
Residency/workshop applications: 0! I stopped once I got into Tin House cause those fees add up.
Live lit show submissions/requests: 3
Contests: 0
Rejections: 2, officially. Ghosted by so many though.
Acceptances: 0.5? I got wait-listed for a Virginia Center for the Creative Arts residency. Not quite sure if that is their standard move for everyone they reject or not, but my ego does not care. I hope I get to attend one.
Total Number of Submissions for the year: 19
Total Number of Job-Related Applications for the year: 18
I’m absolutely ok with this pace right now. My main goal for the next couple of months is to produce, produce, produce my own essays. The non-public side of writing. I also feel like I’m making progress with community-building. I’ve been missing my Chicago writers so much, but I have made a few friendly connections in NY that might have the potential to be REAL LIFE BUDDIES. And there’s about 35 of us from the city heading to Tin House this summer. I’m trying my best to not be the overeager camper and failing miserably.
Shameless Self-Promotion
I’m teaching a single-session class on using humor in non-fiction for StoryStudio on July 25, 6:30-8:30 CT! This is meant for any personal essayist—yes, even you, who only writes the Super Sad Depressing Trauma Story—who wants to learn how to incorporate humor into their work. Even if it’s just a joke. Even if it’s only ONE joke.
Send Ines to Tin House!
I am beyond proud that I got into the Tin House Summer Workshop. Getting there though is a bit of a challenge. The total cost of room and board is $2,200 plus the cost of a ticket from NYC-Portland, which ended up being $817.70. Tickets to Italy are cheaper, lmao. The payment is also due during a season when I have to pay an exorbitant tax bill, movers and security deposits for a new place, and health insurance, which will cease to be free for me by July.
I want to thank everyone who has booked a tarot lesson, subscribed specifically to support my Tin House workshop experience, and those long-time subscribers who have stayed with me through freelance feast and famine life. So far, I’ve managed to raise $540, which is an amazing amount of help.
Here is how you can help:
To help me offset the costs, I am offering donation-based Tarot readings to raise funds. I have two options for Tarot readings:
A virtual 30-minute reading done via Zoom. This is a great way to gain some in-depth clarity around a situation in your life through the Celtic Cross spread. You can schedule one via Calendly. Please note that my schedule fluctuates wildly from week-to-week, which is why you can only schedule a reading two-weeks in advance. However, feel free to shoot me a quick message if there is a specific date you want. I’m sure we can work it out. Suggested donation: $30 via Venmo, PayPal, or Zelle.
A quick and dirty three-card reading done entirely via email. Just fill out this form and you’ll get a response from me in 24-48 hours, including a picture of the spread. This is great for when you want to brighten your day, send someone a fun gift, or simply want to do a vibe check lol. Suggested donation: $15 via Venmo, PayPal or Zelle.
If you’re like “Girl, I just like you and want to support you” then I also have other ways you can do that!
Every subscription payment from April-July will go directly towards paying for Tin House. If you’re already a paid subscriber, THANK YOU. My Tin House experience would be impossible without your support. If you are on the fence, a reminder that paid subscribers get:
Full access to the archive
Subscriber-only posts where I share my accepted pitches, residency and intensive applications, query letters, LOIs, templates and other miscellaneous material that I used to get published.
Access to all the food diaries, my biweekly account of what I ate, cooked and why you should too.
If you are feeling extra generous and your last name is Warbucks, you can send me your donations via:
Venmo: inesbellina
Zelle: ines.bellina@gmail.com
PayPal: ines.bellina@gmail.com
I will also gift you a year-long subscription for any donation you make. Please note that when I say “suggested” I really do mean suggested. If you have $2 to spare, I will graciously accept those, thank you profusely, and comp the subscription.
And to everyone who is like “IN THIS ECONOMY”, I totally understand! It’s enough that you read my work. Truly, thank you.
I just sent this to my bestie who's a freelancer and trying to get an apartment in Chicago! Thanks for the resource, love!
I seriously think the only reason why I got my current apartment when I was unemployed is because my friends lived in it before me. (I get nervous when I'll have to look for a new apartment because it really is awful.)